i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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