I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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