The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
