you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
