I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Boobs are out for the taking
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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