we were pretty classy up until the second keg
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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