is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
