11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
