are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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