ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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