So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize