you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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