It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize