Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
