im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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