Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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