she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
honey bunches of taint.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize