have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize