You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
