so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sorry my hands just texted you
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
