I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Too much gin, very little bucket
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
