ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
