you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize