I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
