he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
