Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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