I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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