Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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