Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
they need to just BURY HIM!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
