let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
