I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
