Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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