Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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