And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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