Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
