It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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