i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just found puke in my bra..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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