what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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