508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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