fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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