maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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