The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
