things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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