Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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