i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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