oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
