what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize