glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
