Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
