I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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