I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
