When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize