...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
