It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
