dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
