omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
