How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
