literally had 100 drinks last night.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
