My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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