I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
