11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize