My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
